Screw you, J.J. YOU SUCK.

Some of you seem to think I can do this food writing thing. I think it might be time to see if you're right.

In an ongoing effort to eat more healthfully and mindfully, Mike and I have been trying to incorporate fresh, preferably local, seafood into our meals 3 or more times a week. These guides, from the Monterey Bay Aquarium, are awesome - printable, pocket-sized, and broken down by region, they detail the best, most eco-friendly seafood choices. Check 'em out.

I stayed home from work yesterday, curled up in bed in my pajamas with the cats, and I did nothing more strenuous than nap, read, and watch cooking shows. When Mike got home from work, he made us a fantastic dinner - pure early autumn comfort food. It was delicious. I had a pretty good night's sleep, too - without Valerian. And that, my friends, is Progress.

I'm listening to the advice of a good friend, being kind to myself and appreciating the little things - and, at least for now, I've quashed those voices that make me feel guilty for treating msyelf to the occasional frivolous, unnecessary item. A new book, something portable to write in, and three tubes of my long-lost discontinued most favorite lipstick ever (thank you, eBay) are the little gifts I'm giving myself today.

In 1997, I was diagnosed with and began treatment for depression. A lot happened during that period in my life which led me to begin treatment, though the depression had been with me for as long as I can remember - since I was a kid. With me, it's more organic than situational - a brain chemistry thing, though life's stresses do make things worse. Basically, I don't deal with things very well.

Additionally, I have pretty major issues with anxiety, which actually predates the depression, and which for some reason has never really been addressed during the therapy I've had. I have very early memories of sleeping on a cot in my brother's room (when he was still little enough to be in a crib) because I was afraid to sleep in my own room. I remember being terrified to fall asleep at all because what if somebody broke into the house? What if something happened to my family? What if I fell asleep and NEVER WOKE UP AGAIN? I was especially terrified of the thought of nuclear war, and somehow, it seemed like a very real possibility to my 8, 9, 10 year old mind.