Have you ever felt like you just want to get up and start dancing, dancing until your cheeks are flushed, your legs wobbly in that good way after hours and hours of music surging through them, twirling and grooving and not even caring about anything but the moment?

Well, it wasn't a perfectly executed meal... the potatoes ended up coming out strangely gummy (which has never happened to me before - I think I over-whipped them), and the finished plates were a bit tepid by the time they were served, but overall, I think the recipes worked, and I definitely enjoyed the company.

I'm tired, and I'm looking forward to Marlow with my honey tonight. Oysters make everything better.

We have guests coming for dinner tonight. It's a meal that I'm writing up, comprised of dishes I've done in the past and am confident I can execute again with no problem, but I'm having a weird case of performance anxiety... butterflies in the tummy and eczema flaring anxiety.

I guess it just makes sense that since I've been so anxious about damn near everything else lately, I should be anxious about cooking dinner for friends. I'm beginning to wonder if I might need pharmaceutical intervention.

So much to think about. So much running through my brain, keeping me up up long past the time I should be sleeping. I'm so wound up and preoccupied with... stuff.

So many people I'm missing right now. So many things I want to do but haven't been able to because of time, money, work, blah.

Sigh.

Today, I have listened to all the songs that remind me of you. I'm thinking of you and of her and of the boys, and wishing you all the very best. I know she is going to be just as beautiful inside and out as her mama is. We also can't wait to meet her.

Love,
Cosmic Sis/Cosmic Auntie

From NYTimes.com:

There used to be money in Detroit. Known in the 50's as the Paris of the Midwest, it had a population of 1.8 million, 83 percent white. It now has fewer than 900,000 and is 83 percent black. It is the poorest big city in the nation, with a third of the population living below the poverty line.

Detroit is an annual competitor for the ignominious title of Murder Capital. Last year there were 359 homicides. Halfway through this year, there were 220. There are about 10,000 unsolved homicides dating back to 1960.