Goodbye/Hello

I could not have imagined just how our year would play out when we began 2008. At this time last year, our plans to say goodbye to New York City were already in motion, but we never dreamed our dear Dub wouldn’t be making the trip with us, making an already bittersweet goodbye that much harder.

But Providence has been such a welcoming home, and as I sit here today, surrounded by three kitties sleeping peacefully, Mike singing as he works on our dinner downstairs, I am struck by the calm and peace I feel. For the first time in years, I feel truly content, more centered and settled. I can look back and feel proud of how I have gotten through the stressful changes, devastating loss and general craziness that we lived through last year.

We are starting this year healthier in every way than we were last year. Mike celebrated a milestone birthday and I am now firmly in my late 30s, and we’re both pretty okay with those numbers. We’ve lost weight. Health problems we had developed related to the environmental and other stresses of living in New York have mostly disappeared. My days are long and busy, and they start far earlier than they used to, but we’ve gotten into a comfortable routine. We spend more time outdoors. We breathe clean air. We walk around our neighborhood. We smile and talk to strangers as well as to friends. And while we still miss and mourn Dub, we feel so lucky to have welcomed Kirby into our family.

I feel like things are finally falling into place, for me personally and for us as a couple. We’ve grown a lot this past year, and what we’ve taken away from all we’ve gone through has made our relationship even stronger. And having the confidence that comes from sharing my life with a true partner has finally allowed me to make some plans for the future. I think I finally know what I want out of my life, what I want to do with it and what I don’t. It feels good, and I can say I feel more hopeful than ever about what could be.

Welcome, 2009. I think you’re going to be a good one.